When and how to discuss senior-housing options with aging parents; ‘takes team effort,’ says Elder Care Concierge president Christi Warner Beyers

By Kelsey Mo | Arizona Republic

Talking to a parent or spouse about assisted-living and senior-housing options can be fraught for all involved.

The prospect turned deadly in a recent incident in Fountain Hills. The case begged the question: How might adult children discuss moving aging parents into a care facility or assisted-living community, and when should that happen?

Although such talks are not always possible, experts say it’s best to start having these types of conversations before a crisis arises.

“A parent has been in charge for 60 more years,” said Kerry Quirin, an adviser with Senior Living Experts, a Chicago-based company that matches families with assisted-living communities. “So it’s a shift in thinking, and it’s a hard pill to swallow that ‘I now have to take charge of my parents. I’m no longer the child.’ “

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“When dealing with elderly parents you need to think of this relationship as a partnership. This is a team effort and you need to make sure everyone is on board to make it successful. They have lived long eventful lives and just because they are physical old they still may be mentally in the game and we need to remember to treat then with the respect they deserve.  In the end, it all comes down to talking. Nothing shows less respect than assuming you know what your parent wants so when any decisions are made we are not telling we are asking and making decisions together.”

~Christi Warner Beyers, President Elder Care Concierge